readingWord下载.docx
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readingWord下载.docx
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(a)remindyourselfthatit’sjustagame,thattherearefarmoreimportantthingsinlife;
Howtoscore:
Ifyouanswered“b”tobothquestions,thenyouaremale.IbasethisstatementonanarticleintheNewYorkTimesaboutthewayanimals,includinghumans,respondtostress.Accordingtothearticle,agroupofpsychologyresearchershavemadethebreakthroughdiscoverythat–preparetobeastounded–malesandfemalesaredifferent.
Theresearchersdiscoveredthisbystudyingbothhumansandrats,whichareverysimilartohumansexceptthattheyarenotstupidenoughtopurchaselotterytickets.Thestudiesshowthatwhenmalesareunderstress,theyrespondbyeitherfightingorrunningaway–theso-called“fightorflight”syndrome.Femalesrespondbynurturingothersandmakingfriends–theso-called“tendandbefriend”syndrome.
Thisfindingisbignewsinthepsychologycommunity,whichisapparentlylocatedonadistantplanet.Hereonearth,we’vebeenawareforsometimethatmalesandfemalesresponddifferentlytostress.Weknowthatiftwomalesbumpintoeachother,they’llrespondlikethis:
FirstMale:
Hey,watchit!
SecondMale:
NO,YOUwatchit!
Oh,yeah?
(Theydeliberatelybumpintoeachotheragain.)
Twofemalesinanidenticalsituationwillrespondlikethis:
FirstFemale:
I’mverysorry!
SecondFemale:
No,it’smyfault!
Say,thosesurearecuteshoes!
(Theygoshopping.)
Ifthepsychologycommunityneedsfurtherproofofthedifferencebetweenthesexes,IinviteittoattendthepartyheldinmyneighborhoodeachHalloween.Thispartyisattendedbyseveralhundredsmallchildrenwhoareexperiencingstressbecausetheirbloodstreams–asaresultoftheso-called“trickortreat”syndrome–containroughlythesamesugarcontentasCuba.Here’showthesexesrespond:
●Thefemales,97percentofwhomaredressedaseitheraballerinaoraprincess,sitinlittlesocialgroupsandexchangesweets.
●Themales,97percentofwhomaredressedaseitherBatmanoraPowerRanger,runaroundmakingmartial-artsnoisesandbouncingviolentlyoffoneanotherlikecrazedsubatomicparticles.
Herearesomeothergender-basedsyndromesthatthepsychologycommunitymightwanttolookinto:
●The“laundryrefolding”syndrome:
ThishasbeenwidelynotedbybothmeandmyfriendJeff.Themalewillattempttofoldapieceoflaundry.Whenheisdone,thefemale,withalookofdisapproval,willimmediatelypickitupandrefolditsothatitismuchneaterandsmaller.“Mywifecanmakeanentirebedsheetvirtuallydisappear,”Jeffreports.
●The“inflatablepooltoy”syndrome:
Fromthedawnofcivilization,thetaskofinflatinginflatablepooltoyshasfallentothemale.ItisoftenthefemalewhocomeshomewithaninflatablepooltoythesizeoftheHindenburg,causingtheyoungsterstobecomeveryexcited.Butitisinevitablythemalewhospendstwohoursblowingthetoyup,afterwhichhekeelsover,whilethekids,whohavebeenhelpingoutbywhiningimpatiently,leapjoyfullyontothetoy,puncturingitimmediately.
Ithinkpsychologyresearchersshouldfindoutifthesesyndromesexistinotherspecies.Theycouldputsomeratsintoacagewithtinypooltoysandminiaturepiecesoflaundry,thenwatchtoseewhathappens.Myguessisthattherewouldbefighting.Amongthemaleresearchers,Imean.It’sashame,thismaletendencytowardsaggression,whichhascausedsomanyhorribleproblemssuchaswarandicehockey.
Itfranklymakesmeashamedofmygender.
I’mgoingtopunchBob.
Exercises:
Explainthefollowingwordsorexpressionsaccordingtothereadingpassage.YoucanturntothelibraryandtheInternetforhelp.
1.the“fightorflight”syndrome
2.the“tendandbefriend”syndrome
3.the“trickortreat”syndrome
4.the“laundryrefolding”syndrome
5.the“inflatablepooltoy”syndrome
WhyWeLoveWhoWeLove
Therealreasonswhywechoosethatspecialsomeone.
ByDr.JoyceBrothers
YourParents'
Influence
Haveyoueverknownamarriedcouplethatjustdidn'
tseemasthoughtheyshouldfittogether--yettheyarebothhappyinthemarriage,andyoucan'
tfigureoutwhy?
Iknowofonecouple:
Heisaburlyex-athletewho,inadditiontobeingasuccessfulsalesman,coachesLittleLeague,isactiveinhisRotaryClubandplaysgolfeverySaturdaywithfriends.Meanwhile,hiswifeispetite,quietandacompletehomebody.Shedoesn'
tevenliketogoouttodinner.
Whatmysteriousforcedrivesusintothearmsofoneperson,whilepushingusawayfromanotherwhomightappearequallydesirabletoanyunbiasedobserver?
Ofthemanyfactorsinfluencingourideaoftheperfectmate,oneofthemosttelling,accordingtoJohnMoney,professoremeritusofmedicalpsychologyandpediatricsatJohnsHopkinsUniversity,iswhathecallsour"
lovemap"
--agroupofmessagesencodedinourbrainsthatdescribesourlikesanddislikes.Itshowsourpreferencesinhairandeyecolor,invoice,smell,bodybuild.Italsorecordsthekindofpersonalitythatappealstous,whetherit'
sthewarmandfriendlytypeorthestrong,silenttype.
Inshort,wefallforandpursuethosepeoplewhomostclearlyfitourlovemap.Andthislovemapislargelydeterminedinchildhood.Byageeight,thepatternforouridealmatehasalreadybeguntofloataroundinourbrains.
WhenIlecture,Ioftenaskcouplesintheaudiencewhatdrewthemtotheirdatesormates.Answersrangefrom"
She'
sstrongandindependent"
and"
Igoforredheads"
to"
Ilovehissenseofhumor"
Thatcrookedsmile,that'
swhatdidit."
Ibelievewhattheysay.ButIalsoknowthatifIweretoaskthosesamemenandwomentodescribetheirmothers,therewouldbemanysimilaritiesbetweentheiridealmatesandtheirmoms.Yes,ourmothers--thefirstrealloveofourlives--writeasignificantportionofourlovemap.
Whenwe'
relittle,ourmotheristhecenterofourattention,andwearethecenterofhers.Soourmother'
scharacteristicsleaveanindelibleimpression,andweareforeverafterattractedtopeoplewithherfacialfeatures,bodytype,personality,evensenseofhumor.Ifourmotherwaswarmandgiving,asadultswetendtobeattractedtopeoplewhoarewarmandgiving.Ifourmotherwasstrongandeven-tempered,wearegoingtobeattractedtoafair-mindedstrengthinourmates.
Themotherhasanadditionalinfluenceonhersons:
shenotonlygivesthemcluestowhattheywillfindattractiveinamate,butalsoaffectshowtheyfeelaboutwomeningeneral.Soifsheiswarmandnice,hersonsaregoingtothinkthat'
sthewaywomenare.Theywilllikelygrowupwarmandresponsiveloversandalsobecooperativearoundthehouse.
Conversely,amotherwhohasadepressivepersonality,andissometimesfriendlybutthensuddenlyturnscoldandrejecting,mayraiseamanwhobecomesa"
dance-awaylover."
Becausehe'
sbeensoscaredaboutlovefromhismother,heisafraidofcommitmentandmaypullawayfromagirlfriendforthisreason.
Whilethemotherdeterminesinlargepartwhatqualitiesattractusinamate,it'
sthefather--thefirstmaleinourlives--whoinfluenceshowwerelatetotheoppositesex.Fathershaveanenormouseffectontheirchildren'
spersonalitiesandchancesofmaritalhappiness.
Justasmothersinfluencetheirson'
sgeneralfeelingstowardwomen,fathersinfluencetheirdaughter'
sgeneralfeelingsaboutmen.Ifafatherlavishespraiseonhisdaughteranddemonstratesthatsheisaworthwhileperson,she'
llfeelverygoodaboutherselfinrelationtomen.Butifthefatheriscold,criticalorabsent,thedaughterwilltendtofeelshe'
snotverylovableorattractive.
Inaddition,mostofusgrowupwithpeopleofsimilarsocialcircumstances.Wehangaroundwithpeopleinthesametown;
ourfriendshaveaboutthesameeducationalbackgroundsandcareergoals.Wetendtobemostcomfortablewiththesepeople,andthereforewetendtolinkupwithotherswhosefamiliesareoftenmuchlikeourown.
ComplementaryNeeds
Whataboutopposites?
Aretheyreallyattractedtoeachother?
Yesandno.Inmanywayswewantamirrorimageofourselves.Physicallyattractivepeople,forexample,areusuallydrawntoapartnerwho'
sequallyattractive.
RobertWinch,alongtimesociologyprofessoratNorthwesternUniversity,statedinhisresearchthatourchoiceofamarriagepartnerinvolvesanumberofsocialsimilarities.Buthealsomaintainedthatwelookforsomeonewithcomplementaryneeds.Atalkerisattractedtosomeonewholikestolisten,oranaggressivepersonalitymayseekoutamorepassivepartner.
It'
sratherliketheold,butperceptive,sayingonthesubjectofmarriagethatadvisesfuturepartnerstomakesurethattheholesinone'
sheadfitthebumpsintheother'
s.Or,asWinchobserved,it'
sthebalancingoutofsociologicallikenessesandpsychologicaldifferencesthatseemstopointthewayforthemostsolidlifelongromance.
However,thereareinstanceswherepeopleofdifferentsocialbackgroundsendupgettingmarriedandbeingextremelyhappy.Iknowofoneman,afactoryworkerfromatraditionalIrishfamilyinChicago,whofellinlovewithanAfricanAmericanBaptist.Whentheygo
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