Friends老友记剧集英文剧本s1 29.docx
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Friends老友记剧集英文剧本s1 29.docx
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Friends老友记剧集英文剧本s129
102TheOneWiththeSonogramattheEnd
[SceneCentralPerk,everyone'sthere.]
Monica:
Whatyouguysdon'tunderstandis,forus,kissingisasimportantasanypartofit.
Joey:
Yeah,right!
.......Y'serious?
Phoebe:
Oh,yeah!
Rachel:
Everythingyouneedtoknowisinthatfirstkiss.
Monica:
Absolutely.
Chandler:
Yeah,Ithinkforus,kissingisprettymuchlikeanopeningact,y'know?
Imeanit'slikethestand-upcomedianyouhavetositthroughbeforePinkFloydcomesout.
Ross:
Yeah,and-andit'snotthatwedon'tlikethecomedian,it'sthat-that...that'snotwhyweboughttheticket.
Chandler:
Theproblemis,though,aftertheconcert'sover,nomatterhowgreattheshowwas,yougirlsarealwayslookingforthecomedianagain,y'know?
Imean,we'reinthecar,we'refightingtraffic...basicallyjusttryingtostayawake.
Rachel:
Yeah,well,wordofadvice:
Bringbackthecomedian.Otherwisenexttimeyou'regonnafindyourselfsittingathome,listeningtothatalbumalone.
Joey:
(pause)....Arewestilltalkingaboutsex?
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
MuseumofPrehistoricHistory,Rossandaco-worker(Marsha)aresettingupanexhibitwhichincludessomemannequinsofcavepeople.]
Ross:
No,it'sgood,itisgood,it'sjustthat-mm-doesn'tsheseemalittleangry?
Marsha:
Well,shehasissues.
Ross:
Doesshe.
Marsha:
He'soutbangingotherwomenovertheheadwithaclub,whileshesitsathometryingtogetthemastodonsmelloutofthecarpet!
Ross:
Marsha,thesearecavepeople.Okay?
Theyhaveissueslike'Gee,thatglacier'sgettingkindaclose.'See?
Marsha:
Speakingofissues,isn'tthatyourex-wife?
(Carol,Ross'sex-wife,hasenteredbehindthemandisstandingoutstidetheexhibit.)
Ross:
(tryingtoignoreher)No.No.
Marsha:
Yes,itis.Carol!
Hi!
Ross:
Okay,okay,yes,itis.(waves)HowaboutI'll,uh,catchupwithyouintheIceAge.
(MarshaextisandRosswavesCarolintotheexhibit.)
Ross:
Hi.
Carol:
So.
Ross:
Youlookgreat.I,uh...Ihatethat.
Carol:
Sorry.Youlookgoodtoo.
Ross:
Ah,well,inhere,anyonewho...standserect...Sowhat'snew?
Still,uh...
Carol:
Alesbian?
Ross:
Well...youneverknow.How's,um..how'sthefamily?
Carol:
Marty'sstilltotallyparanoid.Oh,and,uh-
Ross:
Why-whyareyouhere,Carol?
Carol:
I'mpregnant.
Ross:
Pregnant?
!
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarewatchingThree'sCompany.]
Chandler:
Oh,IthinkthisistheepisodeofThree'sCompanywherethere'ssomekindofmisunderstanding.
Phoebe:
...ThenI'vealreadyseenthisone!
(TurnsofftheTV.)
Monica:
(takingadrinkfromJoey)Areyouthroughwiththat?
Joey:
Yeah,sorry,theswallowingslowedmedown.
Monica:
Whoselittleballofpaperisthis?
!
Chandler:
Oh,uh,thatwouldbemine.See,Iwroteanotetomyself,andthenIrealisedIdidn'tneedit,soIballeditupand...(seesthatMonicaisglaringathim)...nowIwishIwasdead.
(Monicastartstofluffapillow.)
Phoebe:
She'salreadyfluffedthatpillow...Monica,youknow,you'vealreadyfluffedthat-(Monicaglaresather.)-but,it'sfine!
Monica:
Look,I'msorry,guys,Ijustdon'twannagivethemanymoreammunitionthantheyalreadyhave.
Chandler:
Yes,andweallknowhowcruelaparentcanbeabouttheflatnessofachild'spillow.
Phoebe:
Monica-Hi!
Um,Monica,you'rescaringme.Imean,you'relike,you'relikeallchaoticandtwirly.Andnot-notinagoodway.
Joey:
Yeah,calmdown.Youdon'tseeRossgettingallchaoticandtwirlyeverytimetheycome.
Monica:
That'sbecauseasfarasmyparentsareconcerned,Rosscandonowrong.Y'see,he'sthePrince.ApparentlytheyhadsomebigceremonybeforeIwasborn.
Chandler:
(lookingoutthewindow)Ew,ew,ew,ewewewewew!
Monica:
What?
Chandler:
UglyNakedGuygotaThighmaster!
All:
Eeaagh!
(Rachelentersfromherroom.)
Rachel:
Hasanybodyseenmyengagementring?
Phoebe:
Yeah,it'sbeautiful.
Rachel:
OhGod,ohGod,ohGodohGodohGodohGod....(Startstolookunderthecouchcushions.)
Phoebe:
No,look,don'ttouchthat!
Rachel:
Oh,likeIwasn'tdreadingtomorrowenough,havingtogiveitbacktohim...'HiBarry!
Rememberme?
I'mthegirlintheveilwhostompedonyourheartinfrontofyourentirefamily!
'OhGodandnowI'mgonnahavetoreturnthering,withoutthering,whichmakesitsomuchharder...
Monica:
EasyRach,we'llfindit.(Toall)Won'twe!
ChandlerandJoey:
Oh!
Yeah!
Joey:
Alright,when'd'yahaveitonlast?
Phoebe:
Doy!
Probablyrightbeforeshelostit!
Chandler:
Youdon'tgetalotof'doy'thesedays...
Rachel:
IknowIhaditthismorning,andIknowIhaditwhenIwasinthekitchenwith...
Chandler:
...Dinah?
Rachel:
(looksatthelasagneandrealizessomething)Ohhhhh,don'tbemad...
Monica:
Youdidn't.
Rachel:
Oh,Iamsorry...
Monica:
Igaveyouonejob!
(Startstoexaminthelasagnethroughthebottomoftheglasspan.)
Rachel:
Oh,butlookhowstraightthosenoodlesare!
Chandler:
Now,Monica,youknowthat'snothowyoulookforanengagementringinalasagne...
Monica:
(putsdownthelasagne)Ijust...can'tdoit.
Chandler:
Boys?
We'regoingin.
(Chandler,Joey,andPhoebestarttopickthroughthelasagneasthere'saknockonthedoorwhichMonicaanswers.)
Ross:
(standingoutsidethedoor).....Hi.
Monica:
Wow.Thatisnotahappyhi.
Ross:
Carol'spregnant.
Phoebe:
(whileeveryoneelseisstunned)Ooh!
Ifoundit!
Monica:
W-w-wh-...wha-...w-w-w-...
Ross:
Yeah.Dothatforanothertwohours,youmightbewhereIamrightaboutnow.(Heenters.)
Chandler:
Kindaputsthatwholepillowthinginperspective,huh,Mon?
Rachel:
Wellnow,how-howdoyoufitintothiswholething?
Ross:
Well,CarolsayssheandSusanwantmetobeinvolved,butifI'mnotcomfortablewithit,Idon'thavetobeinvolved..basicallyit'sentirelyuptome.
Phoebe:
Sheissogreat!
Imissher.
Monica:
Whatdoesshemeanby'involved'?
Chandler:
Imeanpresumably,thebiggestpartofyourjobisdone.
Ross:
Anyway,theywantmetogodowntothis-sonogramthingwiththemtomorrow.
Rachel:
Sowhatareyougonnado?
Ross:
Ihavenoidea.NomatterwhatIdo,though,I'mstillgonnabeafather.
(Joeystartstoeattherestofthelasagneandeveryoneturnsandstaresathim.)
Joey:
.....Well,thisisstillruined,right?
[Scene,MonicaandRachel's,MonicaandRossarepouringwinefortheirparents.]
Mrs.Geller:
Oh,MarthaLudwin'sdaughterisgonnacallyou.(Tastesasnack)Mmm!
What'sthatcurrytaste?
Monica:
Curry.
Mrs.Geller:
Mmmm!
Ross:
I-Ithinkthey'regreat!
I,Ireallydo.
Mr.Geller:
(ToRoss)DoyouremembertheLudwins?
Thebigonehadathingforyou,didn'tshe?
Mrs.Geller:
Theyallhadathingforhim.
Ross:
Aw,Mom...
Monica:
I'msorry,whyisthisgirlgoingtocallme?
Mrs.Geller:
Oh,shejustgraduated,andshewantstobesomethingincooking,orfood,or....Idon'tknow.Anyway,Itoldheryouhadarestaurant-
Monica:
NoMom,Idon'thavearestaurant,Iworkinarestaurant.
Mrs.Geller:
Well,theydon'thavetoknowthat...(ShestartstofluffthesamepillowMonicafluffedmultipletimesearlier.)
Monica:
Ross,couldyoucomeandhelpmewiththespaghetti,please?
Ross:
Yeah.(Theygotothekitchen.)
Mrs.Geller:
Oh,we'rehavingspaghetti!
That's....easy.
Monica:
Iknowthisisgoingtosoundunbelievablyselfish,but,wereyouplanningonbringingupthewholebaby/lesbianthing?
BecauseIthinkitmighttakesomeoftheheatoffme.
[TimeLapse,everyoneisnoweating.]
Mrs.Geller:
WhatthatRacheldidtoherlife....Weranintoherparentsattheclub,theywerenotplayingverywell.
Mr.Geller:
I'mnotgonnatellyouwhattheyspentonthatwedding...butfortythousanddollarsisalotofmoney!
Mrs.Geller:
Well,atleastshehadthechancetoleaveamanatthealtar...
Monica:
What'sthatsupposedtomean?
Mrs.Geller:
Nothing!
It'sanexpression.
Monica:
Noit'snot.
Mr.Geller:
Don'tlistentoyourmother.You'reindependent,andyoualwayshavebeen!
Evenwhenyouwereakid...andyouwerechubby,andyouhadnofriends,youwerejustfine!
Andyouwouldreadaloneinyourroom,andyourpuzzles...
[TimeLapse.]
Mr.Geller:
Look,therearepeoplelikeRosswhoneedtoshootforthestars,withhismuseum,andhispapersgettingpublished.Otherpeoplearesatisfiedwithstayingwheretheyare-I'mtellingyou,thesearethepeoplewhonevergetcancer.
[TimeLapse.]
Mr.Geller:
...AndIreadaboutthesewomentryingtohaveitall,andIthankGod'OurLittleHarmonica'doesn'tseemtohavethatproblem.
Monica:
(tryingdesperatelytochangethesubject)So,Ross,what'sgoingonwithyou?
Anystories?
(Digsherelbowintohishand.)Nonews,nolittleanecdotestosharewiththefolks?
Ross:
(pullshishandaway)Okay!
Okay.(Tohisparents)Look,I,uh-IrealiseyouguyshavebeenwonderingwhatexactlyhappenedbetweenCarolandme,and,so,well,here'sthedeal.Carol'salesbian.She'slivingwithawomannamedSusan.She'spregnantwithmychild,andsheandSusanaregoingtoraisethebaby.
(Stunnedsilenceensues.)
Mrs.Geller:
(ToMonica)Andyouknewaboutthis?
!
CommercialBreak
[Scene:
CentralPark,everyone'sthere.]
Joey:
Yourfolksarereallythatbad,huh?
Ross:
Well,y'know,thesepeoplearepros.Theyknowwhatthey'redoing,theytaketheirtime,theygetthejobdone.
Monica:
Boy,Iknowtheysayyoucan'tchangeyourparents,...boy,ifyoucould-(ToRoss)-I'dwantyours.
Ross:
Mustpee.(Goestopee.)
Phoebe:
Y'know,it'sevenworsewhenyou'retwins.
Rachel:
You'retwins?
Phoebe:
Yeah.Wedon'tspeak.She'slikethishigh-powered,drivencareertype.
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