Desperate Housewives 2x20 It Wasnt Meant To Happen.docx
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Desperate Housewives 2x20 It Wasnt Meant To Happen.docx
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DesperateHousewives2x20ItWasntMeantToHappen
DesperateHousewives
Episode2x20ItWasn'tMeantToHappen
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MaryAliceVoiceover:
PreviouslyonDesperatehousewives...
JudgeGrimshaw:
I'mgrantingyoutemporarycustodyuntilwecangetastraightanswerfromthebirthfather.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Gabriellegotexactlywhatshewanted.
Susan:
IfEdiedoesn'tknow,thenthatmeansthatyoujustcheatedonherwithme.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Susangotfooledagain...
Peter:
I'malsoamemberofS.A.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
AndBreegottoomuch...
Peter:
Sexaddictsanonymous.
MaryAliceVoiceover:
...information.
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[Edie'sHouse-Daytime]
(KarliskneelingatEdie'sbedsidehiseyesclosesandhishandfoldedinprayer.Edieisfastasleepinbed.)MaryAliceVoiceover:
KarlMayerdidn'tprayoften,butwhenhedid,itwasusuallytoaskforGod'shelpinbreakingupwithawomanandtosparehimthenastydramathatusuallyaccompaniedsuchcallousandunexpecteddepartures.
(KarlpullsanotefromhiscoatandlaysitonthepillownexttoEdie.)
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[Flashback-Woman'sHouse]
(Karl,withasuitcase,isclosingabedroomdoor.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Overtheyears,Karlhaddumpeddozensofwomen.
(Ayoungladyrollsoverinthebedandisshockedtofindanoteonthebednexttoher.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Andnotoneofthemhadeverseenitcoming.
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[Flashback-Woman'sHouse]
(Karl,withhissuitcase,isclosinganotherbedroomdooronanothersleepingwoman.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Everyretreatwasalwaysmeticulouslyplanned,rightdowntothepersonalizedstationary.
(Theyoungwomanrollsoversmilingandisshockedtofindanoteonthepillownexttoher.)
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[Flashback-Woman'sHouse]
(Karl,withhissuitcase,closesanotherbedroomdooronadifferentsleepingwoman.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Hence,hisrecordofsuccessfulgetaways...
(Theyoungwomanrollsoversmilingandisshockedtofindanoteonthepillownexttoher.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
...fromwomenwhodidnotwanttoseehimgo.
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[PresentDay-Edie'sHouse]
(Karl,skulkingaroundEdie'sbedroom,withhissuitcase,putsanoteonthepillownexttoEdie.Hequietlyrollsalargesuitcasetothedoor.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
SowhenhedecidedtobreakupwithEdieBritt,KarlprayedtoGodyetagaintohelphimavoidalltheunnecessarydrama.UnfortunatelyforKarl...
(KarlopensthedoorquietlywhenthebedsidealarmgoesofftowakeEdieup.KarlfreezesasEdiewakesupslowly.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
...Godwasinthemood...tobeentertained.
(EdiewalksupwithherhandonthenoteandseesKarlfrozenandthedoorwithhissuitcases.Karlrushesoutthedoor.)
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[Edie'sFrontYard-Daytime]
(Karlrunsoutofthehousewithhissuitcases.Hethrowsthemintohisconvertibleandclimbsinthecarquickly.Heturnsthestarter,butthecarstalls.HekeepstryingwhenEdiecomesrunningoutofthehouse,wavinganoteintheair.)
Karl:
(whispers)Comeon!
Edie:
Whatthehellisthis?
Karl:
Edie,baby,calmdown.
Edie:
"Let'sbehonestwithourselves,Edie.Wehaven'tbeenhappyinalongtime"?
WhoareyoutotellmeIhaven'tbeenhappy,youmiserablesonofabi*ch?
Ihavebeenecstatic!
Karl:
Okay.I-I'mtheonewhohasn'tbeenhappy,then.
Edie:
Thenwhydidyouproposetome?
Karl:
Idon'tknow.
Edie:
Ihavetoldeverywomaninthistownthatwearegettingmarried,andallyouhavetosaytomeis,"Idon'tknow"?
Karl:
Oh,whatelsedoyouwantmetosay?
I'msorry.
Edie:
What'sgoingon?
Iistheresomeoneelse?
Oh,mygod.
(Ediedropsthenoteandbacksaway.Sheturnsaroundandseesarakeproppedagainstthehouse.Shewalkstowardtherake.)
Karl:
Oh,crap.
(KarlquicklyclimbsintohiscarwhileEdiewalksquicklytogettherake.Karlquicklyputshisseatbeltonandtriestostartthecar.Ediegrabstherake.KarlcontinuestotrytostartthecarasEdiewalksoverdeterminedlywiththerake.)
Karl:
Comeon,comeon,comeon!
(AsEdiegetscloser,thecarstarts.KarlisrelievedandsmilesatEdieashedrivesoutofthedriveway,onlytobehitbyagarbagetruck.Karlsitsinhissmashedsteamingcar.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
Ashesatthere,Karlcouldn'thelpbutwonderwhyGodhadforsakenhim.
(Edielooksonandsmiles.Shetossestheraketothegroundandturnstogobackintothehouse.)
MaryAliceVoiceover:
ItneveroccurredtohimthatGod...mightbeawoman.
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OpeningCredits
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[A.A.Meeting]
(Peterisstandinginacircleholdinghandswithothermemberspraying.)
Peter:
God,grantmetheserenitytoacceptthethingsIcannotchange,thecouragetochangethethingsIcanandthewisdomtoknowthedifference...
MaryAliceVoiceover:
ThemembersoftheFairviewChapterofA.A.endedeverymeetingwithaprayer.Andwhilemostwereaskinggodforhelpinresistingtemptation,wasbusythinkingthoughtsthatweredownrightsinful.
Peter:
AnduntilthenextAmen,keepcomingbackanditworksifyouworkit.Amen.
(Later,Breeiscleaningtherefreshmenttable.)
Bree:
Ithinkyou'dlovetheopera.Themusicandthevoices--it'sjustallso...passionate.
Peter:
(chuckles)Yeah,a300-poundsopranoseducingbaldingtenors.That'dbehot.
Bree:
Youmakingfunofme?
(chuckles)Huh?
(BreeplayfullypokesPeter.Petergrabsherhands.)
Peter:
Bree.
Bree:
Yes?
Peter:
Maybealittlebit.
(Theyarejustabouttokisswhenamanwalksintothemeetinghall.)
Claude:
What'sgoingonhere?
Peter:
Claude?
Claude:
Wemadeplans,remember?
Peter:
I'msorry.Iwasjustabout--
Claude:
Yeah,Isawwhatyouwerejustabouttodo.
Bree:
I'msorry,Peter,but,uh,whoisthis?
Peter:
ThisisClaude.He'smysponsor.
Bree:
Oh,yourA.A.sponsor?
Claude:
No.I'mhisothersponsor.
Peter:
Formysexaddiction.
Bree:
Oh.
Claude:
Damnit,Peter.WhatdidItellyou?
Peter:
Avoidlusttriggers.
Claude:
Andwhatisshe?
Peter:
Comeon,don'tdothis,man.
Claude:
She'salusttrigger.Alusttrigger!
Bree:
Um,excuseme.Idon'tknowwhatthatmeans,butcouldyoupleasestopsayingit?
Claude:
Where'syourchip?
Giveittome.
(PeterpullsachipfromhispocketandhandsittoClaude.)
Claude:
Doyourememberhowlowyou'dsunkwhenwemet?
Thisrepresents12monthsofhardwork,notgivingintoyoururges.Nowifyouwannablowallthatonthiswoman,justtellmenowsoIcanstopwastingmytimeworkingwithyou.
(Claudetossesthechipoverhisshoulder.PeterlooksatBree,thenwalksoverandpicksupthechip.)
Peter:
Idon'twanttoblowit.
Claude:
Good.Thentelltheprettyladygood-byeandthatyoucan'tsocializewithheranymore.Anddoitquick.I'mhungry.
(Claudeleavestheroom.)
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[ParcherandMurphyAdvertisingAgency]
(Itislateatnight.LynetteandTomarecarryingasleepingPorterandParkeroutofthedaycareroomasPrestonwalksbetweenthem.Jerrycomesrunningup.)
Jerry:
Badnews.EdwantsustopushthroughtonightandfinishtheEdelsteinRealtypitch.
Lynette:
Butwe'renotpresentingforanothertwoweeks.Whydon'twestarttomorrow?
Jerry:
ButhowwouldthathelpEdavoidhismaritalproblems?
Lynette:
What?
Tom:
Oh,he'sright.IhearEdfightingwithFranonthephoneeverydaythroughtheofficewalls.
Lynette:
Thatwouldexplainallourworkinghours.
Jerry:
Yeah,butyouluckedout,Scavo.Darlenetalkedhimintocuttingthepeoplewhohavekidsindaycareloose.
Lynette:
Hey,great.Let'sgobeforehechangeshismind.
Jerry:
Butthatdsn'tincludeyou,MissSeniorV.P.Edwantsyouintheconferenceroomnow.
Lynette:
You'rekidding!
Jerry:
You'rehissecurityblanket,Lynette.Hestays,youstay.
Tom:
Jerry,canyouhelpmegetthekidsdowntothecar?
Oh.
Jerry:
Yeah.
(HetakesasleepingParkerfromLynette.)
Lynette:
Thanks,Jer.
Jerry:
Sure.
(LynettekissesTomgoodbyeasEdwalksin.)
Ed:
Lynette?
Lynette:
Yeah?
Ed:
Getthosemock-upstogether,willyou?
Jerry,Ididn'tknowyouhadakid.
(LynettestaresatJerry.JerryrubsParker'sback.)
Jerry:
Y-yeah,um,outofwedlock.
Ed:
Oh.
Jerry:
So...seeyouinthemorning.
(JerryrunsoutholdingParkerandTomfollows.Lynettewatches,shockedintosilence.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gabrielle'sHouse]
(Susanwalksin.)
Susan:
I'msorryI'mlate.
(SusanwalksintotheroomandseeingBree,LynetteandGabrielleconsolingacryingEdie.)
Susan:
What'sgoingon?
Lynette:
KarlbrokeupwithEdie.
Susan:
Oh,mygod.
Bree:
Yeah,apparently,hewasseeingsomeone.
Susan:
Really?
Didhesaywhoitwas?
Edie:
Iknowwhosheis.She'saman-eating,scum-suckingho-bag.
Bree:
No,hedidnotsay.
Edie:
Youknow,whenKarldumpedyou,Ithoughtthatitwasallyourfault.Yeah,Ifiguredthat...youwereanagorbadinbed.ButnowIi...nowIseethatyouwerejustavictim,too.Wehaveabond,Susan.It'slikewe'resisters.(chuckles)There'sevenaprettyoneandanuglyone.
Bree:
Edie!
Edie:
No,I'mjustsayingthatKarlscrewedusboth.
Susan:
Yes,likeyouwouldn'tbelieve.
Lynette:
Guys,I'mallforbashingexes,butlet'ssavealittleofourhateforhispartnerincrime--theother
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