South Park 106.docx
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South Park 106.docx
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SouthPark106
SouthParkEpisode106
"DEATH"
ByMattStone&TreyParker
ACTI
INT.STANHOUSE-DININGROOM-NIGHT
Stan'sFamily(Father,sisterandGrandfather)areseatedat
atable.Motherwalksupholdingabirthdaycakewitha
ridiculousnumberofnumberofcandles.
STAN&FAMILY
Happybirthdaytoyou!
Happybirthday
toyou!
Happybirthdaydeargrandpa!
Grandpadroolsalittlefromhiswheelchair.
STAN&FAMILY
Happybirthdaytoyou!
STAN'SMOTHER
Nowblowoutthecandlesgrandpa!
Grandpamanagesthesmallestwheeze,whichdoesn'tevenmake
theflamesofthecandlesflicker.
Stan'sfamilymembersallapplaud.
STAN'SFATHER
Howdoesitfeeltobeahundredand
two,paps?
GRANDPA
Shootme.
STAN'SMOM
Makeawishgrandpa!
GRANDPA
IwishIweredead.
FATHER
Ha,ha!
That'soursillygrandpa!
GRANDPA
I'mnotbeingsilly!
Killme!
I'ddo
itmyself,butI'mtoodamnold!
STAN'SMOM
Oh,whowantsicecreamwiththeir
cake?
STAN
Iwill.
FATHER
Me.
Stanlooksupandtheclockandgasps.
STAN
It'seighto'clock!
MyfavoriteT.V.
showison!
SHELLEY
Thatshow'sforbabies,it'sso
stupid!
STAN
CanIeatmycakeinthelivingroom,
mom?
Please?
CanI?
STAN'SMOM
Oh,alright.Buttakeyourgrandpy
withyou.
STAN
Aw,dammit.
STAN'SMOM
Language!
INT.LIVINGROOM-CONTINUOUS
Stanissittingonthecouchwatchingtelevisionandeating
cake.
NARRATOR
AndnowbacktoTerranceandPhillip!
ANGLE-TELEVISION
Twoaveragelookingteens(animatedinaslightlydifferent
style)aresittingonacouch.
PHILLIP
HeyTerrance,IthinkIhavetofart.
Stanlaughs.
TERRANCE
Wait!
beforeyoudo,Pullmythumb.
PhillippullsTerrance'sthumb.TerranceFARTSloudly.
Thelaughtracklaughs.Stanlaughs.
PANOVERtorevealgrandpa,whoistryingtopointashotgun
athishead.
Grandpapullsthetrigger--BLAM!
!
Hemisses,blowinga
pictureofthewall.
GRANDPA
AwDammit!
!
GrandpalooksatStan.
GRANDPA
Howwouldyouliketomakeadollar,
Billy?
STAN
Myname'snotBilly,grandpa,it's
Stan.
GRANDPA
Dammit,Billy!
Doyouwantadollar
ordon'tya?
!
STAN
Sure.
GRANDPA
Okay,youjusthavetodoonething
forme...
STAN
I'mnotgoingtokillyou,grandpa.
GRANDPA
WHYNOT?
!
STAN
'Cause!
I'llgetintrouble!
GRANDPA
IkilledmygrandpawhenIwasyour
age!
STAN
Leavemealone,grandpa.
GRANDPA
WhathasAmerica'syouthcometo?
!
Kidswon'tevenkilltheirown
grandparents!
!
INT.KYLE'SHOUSE-NIGHT
KyleissittinginfrontoftheT.V.watchingthesameT.V.
show.
ANGLE-TELEVISION
PHILLIP
HeyTerrance,nowthatyou'vefarted,
IthinkImightfarttoo!
Phillipleansoverandripsabigone.Thelaughtracklaughs.
TERRANCE
Ooh!
Youfarted!
Thelaughtracklaughsagain.
Kylelaughspainfully.Heholdshisstomach.Justthen,Kyle's
motherwalksin.
KYLE'SMOTHER
Kyleboopie,Whatareyouwatching?
ButKyleislaughingtoohardtospeak.Hismotherlooksat
thetelevision.
TERRANCE
HeyPhillip,wouldyoulikeaflower?
PHILLIP
IsurewouldTerrance.
TERRANCE
Alrightythen,here'saTulipPUUU!
!
Terrancefarts.
RESUME-KYLEANDMOTHER
Kyleisrollingaroundonthefloorlaughingwildly.
KYLE'SMOTHER
Whatisthis?
It'shorrible!
KYLE
(Collectinghimself)
Dude,it's'TerranceandPhillip'.
ANGLE-TELEVISION
PHILLIP
Takethatyoustupiddick!
KYLE'SMOTHER
WHATdidhesay?
!
TERRANCE
You'reanasshole,Phillip!
KYLE'SMOTHER
What-what-WHAAAATT?
Kyle'smomsnapstheT.V.off.
KYLE'SMOTHER
Youngman,youarenottowatchthat
showanymore!
It'simmaturetoilet
humor!
KYLE
ButEVERYBODYwatchesTerrance&
Phillip!
KYLE'SMOTHER
Oh,really,isthatSO?
!
INT.CARTMAN'SHOUSE
Cartmanisonthecoucheatingcheesypoofsandwatching
television.
ANGLE-TELEVISION
TerranceandPhilliparefloatingoutinspace.
TERRANCE
Ohno,Phillip!
lookslikeyou're
abouttofart!
PHILLIP
You'reexactlyright,Terrance!
!
AhugeFARTsound.Cartmanlaughswildly.
CARTMAN
Sweet!
CARTMAN'SMOM
Ericdear,Ijustgotacallfrom
yourfriendKyle'smother.Shesaid
thatthisshowisnaughty,andmight
makeyouapottymouth.
CARTMAN
That'sabunchofcrap.Kyle'smom
isadirtyjew.
CARTMAN'SMOM
Oh,okayhon.
INT.STAN'SHOUSE
Stanwalksuptohisbedroomdoorandlooksathislistof
chores.'TakeOutTrash'followedby'FeedSparky'then'clean
uproom'andthen,sloppilyscribbledincrayon,'Kill
Grandpa'.
Stanlooksconfused,thenrealizesthatgrandpaisdownthe
hall.
STAN
I'mnotgoingtokillyou,grandpa!
Grandpaappearsinthebackground.
GRANDPA
Ingrate!
STAN
G'nightgrandpa.
Stangoesintohisroom.
GRANDPA
Youpompoussonofaw
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