daily reading material 1708242.docx
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daily reading material 1708242.docx
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4WaysYouNeedtoKnowtoGettheGoAhead!
Inourbook Lifestorming, AlanWeissandIdiscussthatoneofthemostimportantelementsinlife’sjourneyisgrantingourselvespermission.It’ssomethingthatmanyofusdonotdoanditcansignificantlyholdusbackfromsuccessandhappinessbothpersonalandprofessional.
We’vefoundthatwhenitcomestogettingthegoahead,therearefourpositionsthatmostofuswilltake.
1.Thefirstisyouassumeyouneverhavepermission.Youdon’tcrossagainstthelightevenwhenyoucanseethere’snotrafficforamile.Youdon’tcontradictabuyer,nomatterhowegregioustheerror.Youwouldneveraskadeskclerkforanupgrade,orduckundertheendlessropestomakequickerprogresstowardtheentrance.Youneverpushback.Youdonot,ever,breakfromprecedent.Youhavenoeditor,onlyago/nogochoice,whichisusuallyshutdown.
2.Thesecondpositionthatwemighttakeistoformallyask.Youaskyourpartnerifit’sokaytowriteacheckforsomethingfromyourjointaccount.Youaskaclientifyoucantalktopeopleasyoutravelthroughthesite.Youraiseyourhandandneverjustaskaquestion.Youwaittoseeifsomeoneelsedoeswhatyouwanttodofirst,asaprecedent.Youconstantlyaskotherstoapproveyourapproach,proposal,article,andbreakfastchoice.
3.Thirdyoumayformallygrantyourselfpermission.Youreviewthesituationandaffirmforyourselfthatit’sokaytoknockandentertheroom.Yousaytoyourself,“Well,theywouldn’thaveofferediftheydidn’twantmetouseit.”Youcompareyourworktootherstoensurethatyou’reontherighttrack.Youjustifyandvalidateinternallywhyit’sokaytoproceed.Youmightnotbreaknewground,butyoutakeadvantageofgroundalreadybrokenbyothers.Youself-edit.
4.And,finally,thefourthpositionisthatyousimplyassumepermission.Withtherightethicalbearing,youdon’tcommitantisocialbehavior,suchascuttingaline,butyougototheelitemembers’hotelloungeandassumeyou’reentitledtobecauseyouhavealargesuite.Youtellyourclientwhen,basedonyourcriteria,there’sbeenabaddecision.Youaskaquestionwithoutaskingtobeacknowledgedfirst.Yourealizethatsomerulesandevenlawsaresituationalandyouusegoodjudgmenttoguideyourbehaviors.Youhaveneitheranexternalnoraninternaleditor.
Wethinkthattheidealsettingformostpeopleistotakepositionsthreeand/orfour.Basedonthreedecadesofworkingwithallkindsofpeopleacrossmanyindustries,weknowhowcommonitistooperatebetweenthesecondandthirdpositions,however,thehealthiestpeople,andthosemostincontroloftheirjourney,operatebetweenpositionsthreeandfour.Theyknowattimestheydorequirepermission(Ican’tstealmysister’scar)andattimestheycansimplyact(She’sawayatschoolandthecarneedstobedriven).
Inlife,themostimportantpersonthatyouhavetogetpermissionfromisyourself.Itmaynotalwaysseemthisway,butinthegrandscheme,thisisverytrue.Ifyouwanttolearnmoreaboutgrantingyourselfpermission,readourbook, Lifestorming:
CreatingMeaningandAchievementinYourCareerandLife!
Triggersisa#1NewYorkTimesandWallStreetJournalbest-seller!
Orderitat Amazon.See TheMarshallGoldsmithThinkers50VideoBlog formoreofthisvideoseries.
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2MistakesLeadersNeverMakeWhenTheyDisagree!
InthisfinalpartofmyinterviewwithJudithGlaser,ConversationalIntelligence®,We-centricLeadership,Neuro-InnovationexpertandMarshallGoldsmith100Coachwinner,wetalkabouttwomistakesthatdecisionmakersavoidwhentheydisagreewiththeirdirectreports,whichultimatelyleadstobetterworkingrelationshipsandgreatersuccessfortheorganization.Belowisashortexcerptfromourinterview!
JG:
Marshall,youhavegreatadviceaboutsomeofthemostdifficultsituations.I'dlovetoyourthoughtsonhowtohandledisagreementswhenyouaretheultimatedecision-maker?
MG:
Yearsago,PeterDruckertaughtmethat“Everydecisioninlifeismadebythepersonwhohasthepowertomakethedecision.Makepeacewiththat.”Thisisgreatadvice.Howdoesitapplyifyouarethedecision-maker?
Howdoyoudisagreewithyourdirectreportsandrequestthemtofollowyourdecisionwithoutgettingdefensive,angry,orotherwisecausingdamagetotheworkingrelationship?
Therearetwomistakesthatgreatleadersnevermakewhentheydisagree.
1.Notlistening
2.Pointoutwhyothersarewrongandtheyareright
Let’stakethefollowingscenariotoillustratethispoint.Let'simagineIwantyoutodoXandyouwanttodoY.Youexplainyourreasoningtome.Ilisten.Irepeatwhatyouhavesaidtomakesureweareinagreement.Inthisway,Iavoidthemistakeofnotlistening.
Now,let’ssayIdonotagreewithyou.TheworstthingIcandoispointoutwhyIamrightandyouarewrong.Thisismistakenumbertwo.
Afarbetterapproachistosaysomethinglike,“Directreport,IwantyoutodoXforthefollowingreasons.YouhavesaidyouwanttodoY.I'velistenedtoyou.I'verepeatedwhatyousaidandIseethelogicofit.Inthiscase,IstillwantyoutodoXforthefollowingreasons.”
PerhapsmydirectreportstilldisagreesandwantstodoX.Icansay,“Iunderstand.You’reasmartpersonandIrespectyou.Inthiscase,thisismydecisiontomakeandwewillgowithY.”
Perhapsyoucomebackagainandsay,Marshall,“Ithinkyou'rewrong.”YouknowwhatIcansay?
“Imightbewrong.Andtobehonest,ifI'mnotwrongonthis,I'mcertainlygoingtobewrongsometime.Neitherofushasacrystalball.We'rebothguessingatwhat'sgoingtohappeninthefuture.Youhaveoneguess;Ihaveadifferentguess.I'mnotsayingIamrightoryouarewrong.Irespectyou.You'vemadeyourpoint.Iunderstandit.I'veexplaineditbacktoyou.Istillwantyoutodothisforthefollowingreasons.Pleasegiveityourbestshot.Iwouldgreatlyappreciateit.Thankyou!
”
Thisismybestadvicetoleadersanddecisionmakerswhentheyneedtoaddressdisagreementsintheworkplace.Ihopethisadviceishelpfultoyou!
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3WaystoMakeaHugeImpactatWork!
InarecentinterviewwithhighlyrespectedConversationalIntelligence®,We-centricLeadership,Neuro-InnovationexpertandMarshallGoldsmith100Coachwinner,JudithGlaser,JudithaskedmetosharetheadvicePeterDrucker(FatherofModernManagement)gavemeabouthowtoimpactdecisionmakers.You’llfindthisgreatadviceintheshortexcerptfromourinterviewbelow!
JG:
Marshall,youhadmanyopportunitiestospendtimewithPeterDrucker.Pleasesharewithushisadvicetoyouaboutimpactingdecisions.
MG:
Petertaughtmethreeverythingsabouthowtoimpactdecisionmakersandthusmakeahugeimpactatwork.
First,hetaughtmethatourmissioninlifeistomakeapositivedifference.Itisnottoprovehowsmartweareorhowrightweare.Wegetsolostinprovinghowsmartandhowrightwearethatweforgetthat’snotwhatwe’reherefor.
ThesecondthingthatPetertaughtmeaboutmakingahugeimpactatworkisthateverydecisioninlifeismadebythepersonwhohasthepowertomakethedecision.Makepeacewiththat.Decisionsarenotnecessarilymadebythebestperson,thesmartestperson,ortherightperson.
Thenhesaid,IfIneedtoimpactadecision-makerandtheyhavethepowertomakeapositivedifference,theonewordIshouldusetodescribethemis“customer.”
I’veputthisalltogetherinashortphrasethatIteachtoallofmyclients.“Thebestleadersfocusonmakingapositivedifferenceandsellingtheirideastodecisionmakers,notonprovinghowsmartorhowrighttheyare.”
Inleadership,youneedtothinklikeagreatsalesperson.Sellwhatyoucansell.Selltotheirneeds;don’tselltoyourownneeds.Don’tlookforlogic,rationality,orsanity,becausedecisionsaremadebypower.Whoeverhasthepowertomakethedecisionmakesit.Simplyput,sellwhatyoucansell.Changewhatyoucanchange.Makepeacewithwhatyoucannotsellandmakepeacewithwhatyoucannotchange.Focusyourtimeandenergyinimpactingdecisionswhereyoucanmakeadifference.Don’twasteyourlifeworryingaboutdecisionswhereyou’renotreallygoingtomakeadifferenceanyway.
JG:
Thankyou!
Thisisgreatadvice!
JoinmeTuesdayandWednesdayformyfreewebinarseriesfortheMarshallGoldsmith100Coachesapplicants.RSVP:
WhatGotYouHere August8 at9amEDTandTriggers August9 at9amEDT.Everyoneiswelcometojoin!
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HowDouble-ClickingCanMakeYouaBetterLeader!
Recently,IinterviewedhighlyrespectedConversationalIntelligence®,We-centricLeadership,Neuro-InnovationexpertandMarshallGoldsmith100Coachwinner,JudithGlaser.Wetalkedaboutmanydifferentleadershiptopicsrelatingtoconversationalintelligence,includingJudith’sleadershiptoolcalledtheDouble-Click.Belowisashortexcerptfromourinterviewaboutthiswonderfultoolthatwillhelpanyleaderorteambecomemoresuccessful!
MG:
Judith,onephraseI'dneverheardfromanyoneelsewithregardstocommunicationandleadershipis“double-clicking”.Whatisthisandhowcanleadersandteamsbenefitbyunderstandingandusingthistoolthemselves?
JG:
Double-clickingisoneofourfivetopconversationalessentials.IcameupwiththisconceptwhenInoticedwhathappenedwhenpeopleworkingontheircomputersdouble-clickedonafolder.Whentheydouble-clicked,allofthesethingswereinsideitthattheyhadn’tseenbeforeordidn’trememberthey’dsaved.Iwondered,“WhatifIteachleaderstofollowupwithquestions(double-click)toconfirmunderstanding?
”Thisiscrucialbecauseoftenweassumeeveryonehasthesameunderstandi
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