短篇精选英语爆笑笑话100篇Word文档下载推荐.docx
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短篇精选英语爆笑笑话100篇Word文档下载推荐.docx
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3、1.What
fuck
going
on?
(到底他妈的怎么回事?
)
通常此话出于黑人之口,且口气最宜为疑惑,不解,愤怒等等。
若是白人则多数时候会说-What
hell
意义相同而适用于更多场合。
说此话之人身份通常为上级,且相处较久。
不过如果你出差回家时看见老婆身边躺着个赤条条的陌生人,那它可就派上大用场了!
2.You
son
bitch!
(你个狗娘养的!
令人意外的是,最爱说这句话的往往是女性。
......
4、"
boy
woods.
littlegirl
asked
boy,
What
penis?
replied,
don`t
know."
At
time
he
hears
his
momcalling
him
for
lunch.
He
goes
home
eats
Then
he......"
5、"
Doctor,
an
ear
ache.2000
-
Here,
eat
root."
1000
That
root
heathen,
prayer."
1850
prayer
superstition,
drink
potion."
1940
potion
snake
oil,
swallow
pill."
1985
pill
ineffective,
take
antibiotic."
6、"
7、"
8、"
A
new
town
walks
into
bar
reads
sign
hangs
over
bar:
FREE
BEER
FOR
THE
PERSON
WHO
CAN
PASS
TEST!
asks
bartender
test
is.Bartender:
Well,
FIRST
you
whole
gallon
pepper
tequila,
WHOLE
thing
at
once
AND,
can`t
make
face
while
doing
it.
SECOND,
there`s
`gator
out
back
with
sore
tooth...you
remove
your
bare
hands.
THIRD,
woman
up-stairs
who`s
never
had
orgasm.
You
gotta
things
right
her......."
9、"
i
freshman
university,one
day,our
teacher
us
sth
about
yourself
then
a
student
standed
up,
said
come
from
shandong
and
learn
more
im
university,and
hope
good
good
study
day
teacher&
10、"
funny
story
too
overdue.
used
hear
just
middle
school
student.
ever
heard
sentence:
brother
who
who"
?
11、What
difference
between
man
phoned
home
12、"
thinnest
book
world?
men
women."
13、"
苦命的
salesman
An
insect
repellent
tried
sell
product
farmer.
wasn"
t
interested
because
hadn"
seen
any
bugs
or
insects
farm
years.
indicated
wife
four
kids
really
needed
money.
The......"
14、"
运动世家
German,
Englishman
American
traveling
train.
They
get
bored
start
telling
each
other
their
families.
German
says
4
kids,
they"
ll
basketball
team.
huh!
Thats
nothing,
10
boys,&
nbs......"
15、"
FLOWERS
It
that...
love
beauty
nature,
scent
flowers
appreciate
timeless
romantic
gesture.
OR
some
twisted
joy
watching
vegetation
wither
die."
16、"
Revealing
Gift
Test
Which
gift
would
like?
To
determine
personality,
pick
you"
d
most
like
receive."
17、"
SWEET
POEM
You"
re
hopeless
romantic,
cultured
person
recognizes
power
written
word.
cheap
gifts
pass
off
as
w......"
18、"
married
couple
visited
by
alien
couple.
human
if
swap
partners
agree,
together.
She
says,
small
penis!
replies,
pull
my
ears!
......A
enters
barber
shop
shave.
foaming
mentions
problem
has
getting
close
shave
around
cheeks.
thing,"
barber,
taking
wooden
ball
nearby
drawer.
Just
place
cheek
gum."
19、"
walking
along
street
saw
ladder
clouds.
As
do,
climbed
ladder.
reached
cloud,
upon
which
sat
rather
plump
very
ugly
woman.
Screw
me
climb
success,"
said.
20、"
同学是某偏远地区的,英语发音一直不标准,老师英文也是发不准,所以学生更是一口地道的土腔英语。
话说同学的妹妹刚上初一,学英语的积极性狂高,每天早晨天不亮就开始朗读单词,这天像往常一样,继续拼命的读,他爹就蹲在窗户底下抽烟袋。
小妹妹念“hands(音:
汉子),hands”,“two
hands(偷汉子)。
他爹听完就止不住的皱眉,一大早就听见闺女要偷汉子,心想怪不得听说外国人开放,
书上都这么写。
小妹妹继续读“hands,hands,two
hands(偷汉子)”。
21、话说有一名英文不太好的男子,竟然泡上一名洋妞。
一天,情到浓时,该男子用不太好的英文对洋妞女友说:
『I
Love
You!
』洋女听见大喜,说:
You,too;
那名男子不明所以,竟说:
You,three.....!
22、"
高中的时候
很多学校都有各种各样的模拟考
有一个人
他的英语很烂很烂
一次英文模拟考
作文题目是“ADog”
结果那个人就这样写——
One
day
see
dog.
said"
Hi!
Dog
Can
speak
Chinese?
Yes!
So,let"
s
Chinese!
23、"
有一天,一个印地安小孩问他爸爸说:
dad,我的名字怎么来的?
父亲回答说:
我们族人命名都是以小孩子刚出生时,父亲看到的第一见事物来命名的"
像你哥哥,他刚出生时,我一出门就见到了青山,所以他叫Blue-mountain像你姊姊,她刚出生时,我一出门就见到鸟在飞,所以他叫Bird-flying.这就是我们族人命名的方式.父亲顿了一下,然後回过头说:
对了,Dog-fucking,你刚刚问我什么问题?
24、"
went
preacher
confessed
sin.有个女孩向神父告解她所犯的罪………Girl:
Father,
sinned.女孩:
神父,我有罪。
Preacher:
did
girl?
神父:
孩子,你犯了什麽罪呢?
Girl:
Yesterday,
called
Bitch."
女孩:
昨天,我骂了某个男人一句:
「你这个狗娘养的9......"
25、"
有一个男的十分爱他的女朋友
于是就把他女朋友的名字"
WENDY"
刻在他的"
那话儿"
上,于是当"
那话
儿"
缩小时只看到缩写"
WY"
有一次他和他的女朋友到夏威
夷去玩,他在上厕所时看到隔壁那
个外国人的"
也有"
字
样,于是很兴奋的问那个外国人:
你的女朋有也叫"
吗?
外国人回答说:
NO,NO,我刻的是:
WELCOME
TO
HAWAI
AND
ENJOY
YOUR
HOLODAY"
26、There
farmer
raised
watermelons.
pretty
well
but
disturbed
local
sneak
watermelon
patch(西瓜地)at
night
After
careful
thought
comes
up
clever
idea
thinks
will
scare
away
sure.
makes
posts
field.
27、"
explain
high-pitched
low-pitched
voice?
voice
father
scolds
me;
speaks
boss."
28、A
fat
skinny
were
arguing
polite.......
29、"
husband,
proving
women
talk
than
men,
showed
use
average
only
15,000
words
day,
whereas
30,000
day.She
told
husband
twice
many
repeat
everything
say.
30、"
restaurant,
takes
seat,
and,
instead
using
napkin,
table
cloth
tucks
neck.
head
waiter
sees
tells
tell
him,
diplomatic
way,
incorrect.
31、"
Caller:
deleted
file
PC
last
week
realised
need
If
turn
system
clock
two
weeks
again?
."
32、"
young
shopping.
bought
can
corn,
tuna(金枪鱼),
jar
mayo(蛋黄酱),
lemon
box
teabags.
When
came
counter
cashregister
smiled
said;
Dearest,
must
be
single."
33、"
cop
spotted
driving
knitting
same
time.
Coming
beside
her,
said,
Pull
over!
No,"
pair
socks!
34、"
carpenter
giving
evidence
accident
witnessed.
judge
how
far
accident.The
replied
twenty
seven
feet,
six
half
inches"
.
What?
How
sure
distance?
judge.
35、The
soldier
annoyed
upset
wrote
breaking
engagement
asking
photograph
back.......
36、"
Teacher
set
class
essay
Game
Cricket"
minutes
Simon
Steel
handed
paper
allowed
home.
His
read:
Rain
play."
37、"
Young
Lady:
Your
novel
charming
ending."
Author:
think
opening
chapters?
got
them
yet!
Mike
late
school.
teacher,
Mr.
Brack,
Excuse
coming
late,
sir.
watched
football
match
dream."
Why
late?
inquired
teacher......."
38、"
Teacher:
plural
man,
Tom?
Tom:
Men.Teacher:
Good.
And
child?
Twins."
39、"
professor
big
students.
all
tests
desk
wait.
Once
students
in.
attached
$100
bill
note
saying
dollar
per
point."
40、"
Farmer
Jones
picked
red
apple
saying,
Watch
worms."
apples,"
worms
watch
themselves."
41、"
lady
pet
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