friends109.docx
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friends109.docx
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friends109
TheOneWhereUnderdogGetsAway
[Scene:
CentralPerk,Rachelisconfrontingherboss,Terry.]
Rachel:
Terry,I,I,IknowthatIhaven'tworkedhereverylong,butIwaswondering,doyouthinkitwouldbepossibleifIgota$100advanceinmysalary?
Terry:
Anadvance?
Rachel:
It'ssothatIcanspendThanksgivingwithmyfamily.See,everyyearwegoskiinginVail,andnomp3allymyfatherpaysformyticket,butIsortofstartedthewholeindependencething,youknow,whichisactuallywhyItookthisjob.
Terry:
Rachel,Rachel,sweetheart.You'reaterrible,terriblewaitress.Really,reallyawful.
Rachel:
Ok,I,Ihearwhatyou'resayin'.I'mwithyou.Um,butI,butI'mtryingreallyhard.AndIthinkI'mdoingbetter.Ireallydo.Doesanybodyneedcoffee?
(everyoneintheplaceraisestheirhand)Oh,lookatthat.
OpeningCredits
[Scene:
CentralPerk,Rachelisapproachingacustomer.]
Rachel:
Excuseme,sir.Hi,youcomeinherealltime.Iwasjustwondering,doyouthinkthere'sapossibilitythatyoucouldgivemeanadvanceonmytips?
Guy:
Huh?
Rachel:
Ok,ok,that'sfine.Fine.Hey,I'msorryaboutthatspillbefore.(picksupthetipheleaves)Only$98.50togo.
(Monicaenters.)
Monica:
Hey.Ross,didyouknowMomandDadaregoingtoPuertoRicoforThanksgiving?
Ross:
No,they'renot.
Monica:
Yes,theyare.TheBlymensinvitedthem.
Ross:
You'rewrong.
Monica:
Iamnotwrong.
Ross:
You'rewrong.
Monica:
No,Ijusttalkedtothem.
Ross:
(gettingup,upset)I'mcallingMom.
(Joeyenters.Hisfacelooksabnomp3allycolorful.)
Joey:
Hey,hey.
Chandler:
Hey.
Phoebe:
Hey.
Chandler:
Andthisfromthecry-for-helpdepartment.Areyouwearingmakeup?
Joey:
Yes,Iam.Asoftoday,IamofficiallyJoeyTribbiani,actorslashmodel.
Chandler:
That'ssofunny,'causeIwasthinkingyoulookmorelikeJoeyTribbiani,manslashwoman.
Phoebe:
Whatwereyoumodelingfor?
Joey:
Youknowthosepostersforthecityfreeclinic?
Monica:
Oh,wow,soyou'regonnabeoneofthose"healthy,healthy,healthyguys"?
Phoebe:
Youknow,theasthmaguywasreallycute.
Chandler:
Doyouknowwhichoneyou'regonnabe?
Joey:
No,butIhearlymediseaseisopen,so...(crossesfingers)
Chandler:
Goodluck,man.Ihopeyougetit.
Joey:
Thanks.
(Rosscomesbacktothecouch.)
Ross:
(toMonica)Well,youwereright.Howcantheydothistous,huh?
It'sThanksgiving.
Monica:
Ok,I'lltellyouwhat.HowaboutIcookdinneratmyplace?
I'llmakeitjustlikeMom's.
Ross:
Willyoumakethemashedpotatoeswiththelumps?
Monica:
Youknow,they'renotactuallysupposedtohave...(Rosslooksathersheepishly)I'llworkonthelumps.Joey,you'regoinghome,right?
Joey:
Yeah.
Monica:
AndIassume,Chandler,youarestillboycottingallthepilgrimholidays.
Chandler:
Yes,everysingleoneofthem.
Monica:
Phoebe,you'regonnabewithyourgrandma?
Phoebe:
Yes,andherboyfriend.Butwe'recelebratingThanksgivinginDecember'causeheislunar.
Monica:
Soyou'refreeThursday,then.
Phoebe:
Yeah.Oh,canIcome?
Monica:
Yeah.Rach,areyouthinkingyou'regonnamakeittoVail?
Rachel:
Absolutely.Shoop,shoop,shoop.Onlyahundredandtwodollarstogo.
Chandler:
Ithoughtitwas$98.50.
Rachel:
Yeah,wellitwas.I,Ibrokeacup.
Ross:
Well,I'mofftoCarol's.
Phoebe:
Ooh,ooh!
Whydon'tweinviteher?
Ross:
(mimicking)Ooh,ooh.Becauseshe'smyex-wife,andwillprobablywanttobringher,ooh,ooh,lesbianlifepartner.
[Scene:
CarolandSusan'sapartment,Susanisthere.Rossenters.]
Ross:
Hi,isuh,isCarolhere?
Susan:
No,she'satafacultymeeting.
Ross:
Oh,Iuh,justcamebytopickupmyskull.Well,notmine,but...Susan:
Comein.
Ross:
Thanks.Yeah,Carolborroweditforaclass,andIhavetogetitbacktothemuseum.
Susan:
What'sitlooklike?
Ross:
Kindalikeabigfacewithoutskin.
Susan:
Yes,I'mfamiliarwiththeconcept.Wecanjustlookforit.
Ross:
Ok.(browsingtheapartment)Wow,youguyssurehavealotofbooksaboutbein'alesbian.
Susan:
Well,youknow,youhavetotakeacourse.Otherwise,theydon'tletyoudoit.
Ross:
(pickingupabook)Hey,hey,YertletheTurtle.Aclassic.
Susan:
Actually,I'mreadingittothebaby.
Ross:
Theuh,thebabythathasn'tbeenbornyet?
Wouldn'tthatmeanyou're...crazy?
Susan:
What,youdon'tthinktheycanhearsoundsinthere?
Ross:
You'renotserious,Imean,youreally...youreallytalktoit?
Susan:
Yeah,allthetime.Iwantthebabytoknowmyvoice.
Ross:
Doyouuh,doyoutalkaboutme?
Susan:
Yeah,yeah,allthetime.
Ross:
Really?
Susan:
Butum,wejustrefertoyouasBobotheSpemp3Guy.
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,everyoneistherebutRachel.]
Ross:
Look,ifshe'stalkingtoit,IjustthinkthatIshouldgetsomebellytimetoo.NotthatIbelieveanyofthis.
Phoebe:
Oh,Ibelieveit.Ithinkthebabycantotallyheareverything.Icanshowyou.Look,thiswillseemalittleweird,butyouputyourheadinsidethisturkey,andthenwe'llalltalk,andyou'llheareverythingwesay.
Chandler:
I'djustliketosaythatI'mtotallybehindthisexperiment.Infact,I'dverymuchliketobutteryourhead.
(Rachelenters.)
Monica:
Hey,Rach,didyoumakeyourmoney?
Rachel:
No,notevenclose.ForgetVail,forgetseeingmyfamily,forgetshoop,shoop,shoop.
Monica:
Rach,here'syourmail.
Rachel:
Thanks,youcanjustputitonthetable.
Monica:
(insistently)No,here'syourmail.
Rachel:
Thanks,youcanjustputitonthetable.
Monica:
(givesheranenvelope)Wouldyoujustopenit?
(Rachelopensit.Insideisthemoneysheneeded.)
Rachel:
Ohmygod,oh,youguysaregreat.
Monica:
Weallchippedin.
Joey:
(toMonica)Wedid?
Monica:
(toJoey)Youoweme20bucks.
Rachel:
Thankyou.Thankyousomuch!
Monica:
(handsChandlerabag)Chandler,hereyougo,gotyourtraditionalThanksgivingfeast,yougotyourtomatosoup,yourgrilledcheesefixin's,andyourfamilysizebagofFunyuns.
Rachel:
Wait,wait,Chandler,thisiswhatyou'rehavin'forThanksgivingdinner?
What,what,whatisitwithyouandthisholiday?
Chandler:
Allright,I'mnineyearsold.
Ross:
Oh,Ihatethisstory.
Chandler:
WejustfinishedthismagnificentThanksgivingdinner.Ihave--andIrememberthispartvividly--amouthfulofpumpkinpie,andthisisthemomentmyparentschoosetotellmethey'regettingdivorced.
Rachel:
Ohmygod.
Chandler:
Yes.It'sverydifficulttoappreciateaThanksgivingdinneronceyou'veseenitinreverse.
[Scene:
Thesubway,Joeyspotsagorgeouswomanwaiting.Hegoesuptoher.]
Joey:
Uh,hi.Weuh,weusedtoworktogether.
Girl:
Wedid?
Joey:
Yeah,atMacy's.YouweretheObsessiongirl,right?
IwastheAramisguy.(pretendstospraycologne)Aramis?
Aramis?
Girl:
Yeah,right.
Joey:
Igottatellyou.You'rethebestinthebusiness.
Girl:
Getout.
Joey:
I'mserious.You'reamazing.Youknowwhentospritz,whentolayback.
Girl:
Really?
Youdon'tknowwhatthatmeanstome.
Joey:
Ooh,yousmellgreattonight.What'reyouwearing?
Girl:
(provocatively)Nothing.
Joey:
Listen,uh,youwannagogetadrinkorsomething?
Girl:
Yeah.(shegetsup,noticessomethingbehindJoey)Oh.
Joey:
What'swrong?
Girl:
Ijustremembered,Ihavetodosomething.
Joey:
Oh.What?
Girl:
Um,leave.
Joey:
Wait,wait,wait!
(Joeyturnsaroundandseeshisfaceonaposterinthesubway.Thepostersays:
WhatMarioisn'ttellingyou...V.D.,youneverknowwhomighthaveit.AvarietyofscenesareshownwiththeposterdisplayedalloverNewYorkCity.)
[Scene:
CentralPerk,Joeyenters,amongstsnickersfromthegang.]
Joey:
SoIguessyouallsawit.
Rachel:
Sawwhat?
Phoebe:
No,wewerejustlaughing.Youknow,howlaughtercanbeinfectious.
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,Joeyenters,upset.]
Joey:
SetanotherplaceforThanksgiving.MyentirefamilythinksIhaveVD.
Chandler:
Tonight,onaveryspecialBlossom.
CommercialBreak
[Scene:
MonicaandRachel's,MonicaiscookingThanksgivingdinner.Chandlerisstandinginthedoorway,notwantingtoparticipateinthefestivities.]
Monica:
Mmm,lookinggood.Ok,cider'smulling,turkey'sturking,yamsareyamming.(noticesRossisdepressed)What?
Ross:
Idon'tknow.It'sjustnotthesamewithoutMominthekitchen.
Monica:
Allright,that'sit.Youknowwhat?
Justgetoutofmywayandstopmoping.
Ross:
That'scloser.
(Rachelenters,excited.)
Rachel:
Igotthetickets!
Igotthetickets!
Fivehoursfromnow,shoop,shoop,shoop.
Chandler:
Oh,youmuststopshooping.
Rachel:
Ok,I'mgonnagetmystuff.
Joey:
Chandler,willyoujustcomeinalready?
Chandler:
No,Iprefertokeepasafedistancefromallthismerriment.
(PhoebetakesasliceofpumpkinpieandwavesitinfrontofChandler'sface.)
Phoebe:
Lookout,incomingpumpkinpie!
Chandler:
Ok,wealllaughedwhenyoudiditwiththestuffing,butthat'snotfunnyanymore.
(Chandlerleaves.)
Joey:
Hey,Monica,Igotaquestion.Idon'tseeanytatertots.
Monica:
That'snotaquestion.
Joey:
Butmymomalwaysmakesthem.It'slikeatradition.Yougetalittlepieceofturkeyonyourfork,alittlecranberrysauce,andatot!
It'sbadenoughIcan'tbewithmyfamilybecauseofmydisease.
Monica:
Allright,fine.Tonight'spotatoeswillbebothmashedwithlumps,andinthefomp3oftots.
Ross:
Ok,I'mofftotalktomyunbornchild.
(Rossgrabsforsomefood,Monicaslapshishandaway.)
Monica:
Ah!
Ross:
Ok,Momneverhit.
(Rossexits.)
Phoebe:
(stirringpot)Ok,alldone.
Monica:
What,Phoebe,didyouwhipthepotatoes?
Rossneedslumps!
Phoebe:
Oh,I'msorry,oh,Ijust,Ithoughtwecouldhavethemwhippedandthenaddsomepeasandonions.
Monica:
Whywouldwedothat?
Phoebe:
Well,'causethenthey'dbelikemymomusedtomakethem,youknow,beforeshedi
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